Quotes

Said by Happy Harry Hardon

"Did you ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up?"

"Tonight I am as horny as a ten peckerd owl, so stay tuned because this is Happy Harry Hardon reminding you to eat your cereal with a fork and do your homework in the dark."

"I tell you since you ask. I just arrived in this stupid suburb. I have no friends, no money, no car, no license. And even if I did have a license all I can do is drive out to some stupid mall. Maybe if I'm lucky play some fucking video games, smoke a joint and get stupid."

"Everything decent’s been done. All the great themes have been used up. Turned into theme parks. So I don't really find it cheerful to be living in totally exhausted decade where there is nothing to look forward to and no one to look up to."

"I hate the sixties, I hate school, I hate principals, I hate vice principles, but my true pure refined hatred is reserved for guidance counselors."

"Remember my dear I can smell a lie like a fart in a car."

"Well first of all you're not screwed up, your an unscrewed up reaction to a screwed up situation. Feeling screwed up at a screwed up time, in a screwed up place does not make you necessarily screwed up…"

"I like that. Talk Hard. I like the idea that a voice can just go somewhere uninvited and just kind of hang out like a dirty thought in a nice clean mind. To me a thought is like a virus. You know, it can just kill all the healthy thoughts and just take over."

"I bet she's kind of shy like so many of us who briskly walk the halls, pretending to be late for some class, pretending to be distracted. Hey poetry lady, are you really this cool? Are you out there? Are you listening?"

"Now I feel like killing myself, but I'm too depressed to bother."

"You know, in real life I could be that anonymous nerd sitting across from you in Chem. Lab, staring at you so hard, you turn around, he tries to smile, but the smile just comes out all wrong. You just think how pathetic, then he just looks away and never looks back at you again."

"My dumb Dad got me this short wave radio set so I could just speak to my friends back east, but I couldn't reach anybody, I thought I was talking to nobody. I imagined that nobody was listening. Maybe I imagined one person out there, anyway one day I woke up and I realized I was never going to be normal and so I said fuck it, I said, "So be it" and Happy Harry Hardon was born."

"I never meant to hurt anyone, honestly I never meant to hurt anyone. I'm sorry Malcolm. I never said "Don't do it" I'm sorry. Anyway I'm done, stick a fork in me it's been grand. This is Happy Harry Hardon saying sionara, over and out."